6 April 1985
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle... Rose and Jill, the Tweedledum and Tweedledee of pop, come to inflict an entire album's worth of nursery popsicles on an entirely expectant chart public. And I hope they're very happy together, because I don't share their sweet tooth.
This is desperately lightweight and quite relentlessly tedious, Rose's droning three-note vocals managing to grate by the end of the first song. There's lots of blippy synth arrangements, sickly strings surrounding twee wee songs which quite seamlessly fall into each other.
Here are more songs about houses and cosy front rooms and love; entirely suitable that their record label has pink milk bottles and moo cows on it. Strawberry Switchblade are trees and fields and pretty flowers and fond memories and quiet reflections and strummings and tippy tappy drums and la de da de dums. A Strawberry milkshake strictly for acquired tastes.
(2 out of 5)
On the same page the same reviewer gives an unequivocal five out of five review to Go West's album, ending with the line 'Spandau Ballet please note - this is what you could have sounded like'. Let that speak for itself.