Bob Carolgees

by The North London Chemical Zone Troopers

Remember that bloke off the TV with Spit The Dog?
You'll never guess what he's up to now

Look out look out
Bob Carolgees is about
He's goosing all the people at your party
He's had Russell Grant and he's had Clint Eastwood
And he even got the late Russell Harty

He got that woman off the news
With a rather cunning ruse
And he's left Tom Cruise
With a rather nasty bruise
He caught Brucie unawares
Half way up the stairs
And he gave us quite a shock
Goosing New Kids On The Block

Well, as for Derek Nimmo...

He had a good forage
Round Genesis P-Orridge
And he got Rose McDowall
With a rusty garden trowel
He got Jimmy Tarbuck
But who really gives a fuck
And as for Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Oh fuck off

He got David Icke
And knocked him off his bike
He had Lesley Judd
We didn't really think he would
He had a good poke
All around John Noakes
And there was plenty of room
Round the back of Simon Groom

But it was goosing Jimmy Greaves
That brought him to his knees
And he went for the kill
As he dived for Jimmy Hill
He got Una Stubbs
On the way home from the pub
And he got Lionel Blair
Who really couldn't care

It was really quite surreal
When he goosed John Peel
And even Steve Wright
Didn't put up a big fight
We tried to warn Chrissie Hynde
But he got her from behind
And we really couldn't tell
If he got Simon Caddell
(you know, that bloke off Hi De Hi)